Parenting support in Frederick, MD and online parenting guidance in Maryland and Pennsylvania
I help parents learn how to be a better parent in a shame-free environment by teaching them to recognize their own responses to stress. Parenting is tough - there is no way around it. But it doesn’t have to be something that overwhelms you or makes you feel consistently bad or irritable.
Though there is no single guide for parenting that fits all parenting styles, there are basics that you can learn about how to be a better parent that will help you to forge your own path toward being the kind of parent you want to be.
Maybe becoming a parent has made you question your own relationship with your parents or has brought up issues for you. Perhaps you’ve realized that the kind of parents that you needed were not the kind you actually had. Or maybe you can see now how intergenerational trauma affected your own parents and you don’t want to carry that trauma forward. Learning how to be a better parent will help you to discern when old habits, patterns, or traumas are playing out in your parenting style and will help you to shift these patterns.
Asking for help with parenting can be difficult because so many of us assume that everyone else is someone “doing it right,” and that we’re on our own, frustrated, irritable, and out of patience, responding to our kids in ways that we’re not proud of or worse, about which we feel deeply ashamed. Help with parenting is something that every parent can use; humans are social beings, and by accepting help with parenting we can bond with one another over the shared joys and challenges of modern parenting.
Shame-free parenting guidance
Common parenting issues that people seek parenting support for are:
Difficulty controlling your reactions or emotional temperature when frustrated, angry, or upset
Parenting a Highly Sensitive Child
Confusion about or difference between partners in parenting styles
Identifying parenting styles that work for you and for your family
Parenting teens
Changes in partnership or relationship since becoming a parent
Feeling overwhelmed by the many demands of parenting, being a parent who works outside of the home, and work/life balance questions
Reparenting oneself as one parents children differently than the way in which one was raised
Parents who became parents in a pandemic and the challenges related to pandemic parenting
Parenting tips to create better attachment to children and/or to partner
Parenting guidance may be helpful for you if any of the following situations sound familiar:
You find yourself frequently snapping at your kids or highly irritable with them about things that at some point weren’t as bothersome to you
You’re constantly replaying interactions you’ve had with your kids, and you have a hard time letting go of what you didn’t get right
You compare yourself to other parents and feel like they’re enjoying it more or you just weren’t meant for this
You feel guilty each time you set a boundary or expectation within your household
You feel like MOM is the only word you hear all day, and you resent it
You prioritize everyone in your family other than yourself, and it has left you out of energy and short on patience
Parenting stress is normal. Learning how to be a better parent means dealing with parenting stress effectively
Healthy parenting and learning how to be a better parent depends on reducing parenting stress. What many parents struggle to realize is that both stress and trauma manifest themselves similarly in our bodies, causing us to react as if we’re under high threat alert. A common complaint among new moms about parenting stress is that it feels like they can never be “off duty” and are always waiting for the next parenting challenge or stressor. By learning how your body responds to parenting stress, you can learn to recognize it, to complete the stress cycle, and to learn how to regulate your own autonomic nervous system so that you can effectively co-regulate and calm and soothe your child.
Learning how to be a better parent isn’t rocket science
But it takes a willingness to look at your own habits, patterns, and reactions. I offer parenting support in a way that is shame-free and will encourage you to be curious about your own emotions, reactions, and behaviors so that you can learn how to keep what’s working for you and to change what’s not.
Whether you’re parenting toddlers or parenting teens, parenting stress can run high. I am here to help you normalize your frustrations - parenting is a big and important job, so there is a certain amount of parenting stress that is good, healthy, and motivating! But if parenting has left you feeling consistently depleted, overwhelmed, or insecure, it might be worth considering parenting help.
If I created a guide for parenting, these books would be part of it:
Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time by Brigid Schulte
Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman
Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming The Parent You Want to Be by Dr. Becky Kennedy
Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay
How To Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims
The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by Jessica Lahey
How Children Succeed by Paul Tough
Better parenting starts with you
Please note that I do not work with children; I work with parents to do their own internal work so that they can show up better for their kids. I create strong partnerships with trusted child and family therapists, should that be something in which you might be interested at some point. But in nearly all cases, becoming a better parent starts with your own willingness to turn inward.